Morning Routine

I stretch and yawn
but can't get out of bed
I didn't get much sleep last night
ED was in my head

I stumble out of bed
and he's right there by my side
checking in the mirror
The horror we must hide

Disappointed by appearance
we head straight for the scale
this is the true test
and one I always fail

Next is the shower
don't open you're eyes
keep them tightly closed
and listen to ED's lies

The hardest part of the morning
finding something to wear
I try on everything I own
ED can only stare

Nothing meets his approval
he's disgusted by my sight
I grab something big and dark and frumpy
All day feeling like its tight

Its the same routine each morning
some days more severe
before I leave the house each day
ED makes it very clear

He holds all the cards
and he's held up in my head
I leave lost, confused and very sad
wishing I was dead

Kim (4/99)

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