Scaling the Mountain
I am climbing a mountain
and it is a difficult journey.
When I am at the midpoint I see the top of
the mountain and know that is where I want to be.
I climb slowly and
carefully toward the healthy and satisfying life at the top of
the mountain.
The journey is rocky and dangerous and I do slips at times, but as long as I
stay above midpoint and keep the top of the mountain in my
sights I can hold
on to hope of reaching the top.
I carry weights that make it difficult to
climb and often pull me down toward the bottom of the
mountain.
I try to cut
the weights away and let them fall, but I can't.
My desire for thinness, lack
of self esteem, eagerness to please others, and undeserving thoughts have
become a part of me.
They are no longer weights that I carry, but a real
part of everything I think, feel, and do.
As I slip toward the bottom I lose
sight of my goal to reach the top.
I now strive to just hang on and survive.
It becomes difficult to hang on and I slip faster towards the
bottom.
I begin to think the bottom is where I want to be and stop reaching
out for hands along the way to pull myself back up.
I convince myself, I am
not lonely, I am not hurting and I do not need help.
I let go and fall.
As
I lay in the fog at the bottom of the mountain I try to picture the top and
can't.
I wonder if there is a top to the mountain and can I ever in my
lifetime reach it?
Kim
Copyright 1999 by Kim Martel
