My ED

I am thin I'd love to hear,
What I want is not clear.
I don't know what I feel inside,
In whom can I truly confide.
People tell me they understand,
These people lend a helping hand.
But I want to talk to someone who knows how I feel inside,
Someone who had this ED and learned the secrets how to fight.
This ED is such a pain,
I think I'll soon go insane.
I can only help my self, there is no other,
To fight this ED I must fight to go further.
I really don't want to die,
And have people feel bad and wonder "why"?

This ED took away all of my confidence,
In situations I am not calm but rather tense.
I want to totally change how I look,
My love for my self this ED also took.
I really don't like the way I look, so I don't ever flirt,
Wish I felt confidant wearing tight shirts and small skirt.
The ED slowly took over parts of my life,
I want to live to be someone's mom and wife.
I really want this and it's all in my dreams,
Right now it is pretty impossible, or so it seems.

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The Urge to Purge

Today I had the urge,
after a long time to purge.
All I want is to be thin,
are all things I do a sin?
I do not know what is wrong or right,
I can't trust my own sense of sight.
I look for answers in my mind,
for questions I can't find.
Going around in a daze,
All this seems like is a huge maze.
I really want to find a way out,
But my own heart is what I doubt.
At times I give up to defeat,
cuz I feel extremely weak.
My mind tells me the scale lies,
If only someone heard my cries.
Some days I feel good,
this ED sure alters my mood.
The bad memories help my Ed grow,
All the secrets to this questions I want to know.